Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Shouty Dwarves in Klingon Armour

SO!  I am currently hosting this awesome Middle-Earth group read (we started The Hobbit on Saturday, it's not too late to join in if you're interested), and since I'm reading about Bilbo's new dwarf friends, I became curious how they were going to be depicted in Mr Jackson's upcoming film adaptation.

Short note:  I hate the LotR movies.  Like, if you want to see me get as ranty as humanly possible, force me to watch/discuss them.  You'll be stuck for hours, and likely won't want to be my friend any longer once I'm done.  Don't get me wrong, I think they're super pretty and everything, but the story WAS ALL WRONG.  See, I'm getting shouty already and this note is no longer so short.  Oops.


In case you haven't seen it, here's a picture of the final costumes for Thorin's band of...well, whatever.  I'm too tired right now to come up with something clever.

I mean...I guess this is okay.  You know, unless you've actually READ THE BOOK or something, and you know that absolutely no one looks anything at all like they're described.

I could pick every single one of these choices apart, but I'm going to try to keep this on the manageable reading length size, so I'll just focus on a few of the MOST egregious choices, 'kay?

Fili and Kili

WTS is going on here, seriously?  I mean, I GET that they're the youngest members of the group and whatnot, but that's no effing excuse for them to be all Dwarf Boy Band.  Ugh.  (BTW, Kate and I have decided that this boy band is going to be called Dwarves 'N Da Hood.  You know it works.)


Um...not gonna lie, I was really hoping for his blue beard here.  :(


AKA - Triceratops Head.  Dude, I can't even...

And finally - 


This is the one that bothers me the most.  Why the hell does he look like a Klingon?  I AM THE MOST SERIOUS!  What you don't believe me?  Fine.  Look what I did for you because I'm the most awesome and stuff.

THORIN LOOKS JUST LIKE CHANCELLOR GOWRON, WTS?!  Not only that, but I'm pretty sure he stole General Martok's armour.  

Ugh.  Seriously.  Why can't Peter Jackson just stop messing around with my Middle-Earth?  What a jerk he is.