Gav Thorpe's CROWN OF THE BLOOD

(click "Menu" in the lower right to embiggen and enjoy!)

Today, Angry Robot Books, one of our go-to publishers for cool new genre fiction, has decided to offer a free sample of Gav Thorpe's Crown of the Blood, which SMISA contributer Kate Sherrod reviewed happily last year. This is ancient Rome for pulp fans, kids, and it's the first book of what looks promisingly to be a great series. It seriously has it all: legionnaires riding lions, barbarians riding dinosaurs, dynastic politics, blood and the problems of polygamy. Lots of fun and highly recommended!

Jason Mormoa as Conan

The movies do not love depicting our favourite barbarian in the plate armour he occasionally wore in the original stories and novellas, but at least this time around we had him in a mail sleeve for a good chunk of the action. Love the film or hate it (we at SMISA loved it, despite its rejection of canon and its lame inventions), we think most of you will agree that, brown eyes aside, Jason Mormoa made a helluva good Conan. Shoutiness? Check. Nakedness? Check? Wenching, guzzling, drinking, slaying? Check. Growling? Check.

Will there be sequels? Dare we hope? By Crom, we do!

Obscure French Shouty Men in Shiny Armour

In 1978, French auteur Eric Rohmer, best known for his 1960s morality plays like Pauline at the Beach, released one of the oddest and most hypnotically fascinating films I have ever seen. It was inspired by perhaps one of the granddaddies of all epic fantasy literature, Chrétien de Troyes' 12th century Arthurian romance Perceval, the Story of the Grail, which alone makes it a must-include for this blog. But this is not some big loud crashy bombastic free-for-all like, say, Excalibur. No: this film is straight out of Jesse L. Weston, restoring the ritual character to Arthurian legend and the theater. Lines are chanted as much as delivered; movements, too, are often stylized (but not, as you see, in the fight scenes).




The result is a film as puzzling and intriguing as the Grail legend itself. If you haven't seen it, get your hands on a copy of the DVD right away!

Speaking of Conan...

A commenter on another blog (cough) has started perhaps an interesting discussion, prompted by my reaction to the exquisitely entertaining experience of reading the early Conan short stories and novellas presented in the Del Rey compilation The Coming of Conan the Cimmerian. Why not check it out and join the fun?

Conan the Progenitor

Robert E. Howard's most famous character, Conan the Cimmerian, is arguably the granddaddy of all Shouty Men in Shiny Armour -- or at least of pulp fantasy heroes. But this fantastic Tomás Giorello art (the cover to Dark Horse Comics' first King Conan issue, adapting the classic original Conan story, "The Phoenix on the Sword") is a rarity in that it shows Conan in shiny armour. Most people (this blogger's mother included; it was an argument with her over whether Conan counts as a SMISA that prompted this post) always and only picture him as the naked muscle man. It's true he seems to fight best in just a breechclout, but I found a few good examples of our favorite barbarian in armor in some of Howard's earlier stories.

Sometimes his armour doesn't match too well, in true barbarian fashion:

His horned helmet was such as was worn by the golden-haired AEsir of Nordheim; his hauberk and greaves were of the finest worksmanship of Koth; the fine ring-mail which sheathed his arms and legs was of Nemedia; the blade at his girdle was a great Aquilonian broadsword; and his gorgeous scarlet cloak could have been spun nowhere but in Ophir.

- from "Queen of the Black Coast"

At other times, he sports a more "put-together" look:

At her command they brought harness to replace Conan's chain-mail -- gorget, sollerets, cuirass, pauldrons, jambes, cuisses and  sallet. When Yasmela again drew the curtains, a Conan in burnished steel stood before his audience. Clad in the platearmor, visor lifted and dark face shadowed by the black plumes that nodded above his helmet, there was a grim presence about him that even Thespides grudgingly noted. A jest died suddenly on Amalric's lips. "By Mitra," he said slowly, "I never expected to see you cased in coat-amor, but you do not put it to shame. By my fingerbones, Conan, I have seen kings who wore their harness less regally than you!"

Conan was silent. A vague shadow crossed his mind like a prophecy. In years to come, he was to remember Amalric's words, when the dream became reality.

- from "The Black Colossus"

But be advised, Shouty Men in Shiny Armour isn't just about those; that's just a cool title for a pulp fantasy lovers' blog. We couldn't help being pleased, though, to see that one of our favourite heroes actually deigns to embody the name so splendidly!

New Year, New Reading Lists

Kate Sherrod here, one of the co-founders of SMISA, with a confession to make.

I've never read any of the original or later pastiche Conan books or stories. Until now.

For one of my first reading efforts in this blighted new year is to read ALL OF IT. All of Robert E. Howard's original short stories. All of Harry Turtledove's Conan novels. All of L. Sprague deCamp's pasticherpieces. Every shred. In publication order, if possible.

And then (another embarrassing announcement), I'm going to move on and read all of Fritz Lieber's Fafhrd and the Grey Mouser stories.

That should adequately fill the time while I wait for the next installment in fellow SMISA founder Jennifer Williams' Copper Promise series. Which is somewhat delayed, as she's been down with the crud, poor lamb.

I mean, come on, Jennifer! Shouty Man up! Strap on that plate! Bust those bugs into another dimension.

Yeah, that's better.

Anyway, what Shouty Men in Shiny Armour fiction are you most looking forward to this year?

Heimdall

Alright, so Idris Elba doesn't do a lot of shouting in Thor - he mainly does a good line in glowering and growling - but, damn, his armour is shiny. He's also rocking those contact lenses.